


i just really love you

by s-kiz (pigalle)



Category: Stray Kids (Band)
Genre: Angst, Canon Universe, First Kiss, Getting Together, Love Confessions, M/M, as in i took that and ran away with it as if they wrote it for chan, inspired by changlix's skz-record
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-03-14
Updated: 2021-03-14
Packaged: 2021-03-22 22:53:42
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,036
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/30046011
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/pigalle/pseuds/s-kiz
Summary: I just really love youYou’re the only reason why I really love youWhen I see you smile I just can’t get enough and I can’t live without youBaby I just really love youChan gives Changbin and Felix the base for a love song, without knowing that they're writing it to him, instead of just to each other like he thinks.
Relationships: Bang Chan/Lee Felix/Seo Changbin, Lee Felix/Seo Changbin
Comments: 11
Kudos: 84





	i just really love you

**Author's Note:**

> this is partially my idea, but also from this [lovely amazing edit](https://twitter.com/eternitytrack/status/1371129972190941188) and this [whole thread](https://twitter.com/SSEOMT/status/1371063863848833024)
> 
> the title is, probably quite obviously, from felix and changbin's skz-record

One of the things making Chan the happiest has always been seeing the people around him happy. He’ll do anything to make sure they are, and maybe then he can also get some happiness from it as well.

He notices that Changbin and Felix seem to have something to tell him, several days before they actually approach him about it. They exchange glances in the room and Chan feels like an intruder. There’s something about the glint in their eyes that feels too intimate, that makes his heart ache.

He loves all of his boys, but perhaps Changbin and Felix are a little special. ot that he loves the other any less than them, simply that he loves them in other ways. In ways that aren’t platonic. In ways where you shouldn’t say they’re your brother.

Perhaps he’s wished and hoped that they feel the same, clinging onto moments between them that doesn’t feel platonic.

But then they finally approach him one late evening, to tell what has been on their minds for a while.

“Hyung,” Changbin says, Felix’s hands clasped in his. They’re both smiling, softly, but there’s a hint behind it that makes it seem like they’re holding it in a bit. Maybe to not overwhelm Chan.

“We wanted to tell you,” Felix continues, “that we started dating.”

And Chan stops breathing.

Changbin and Felix look at him, expectant, but all Chan can feel is his chest constricting. It’s mostly painful, but there’s love there as well. He knows he should only be feeling love, but it’s hard when it feels like they’ve both been ripped away from him.

He forces himself to smile, and says, “I’m happy for you.” He is, he really is, and he tries to focus only on that.

—

They don’t act any different in front of the rest — the knowledge that they have so far only entrusted Chan with their secret makes him feel warm inside. However… When they’re in their room, regardless of if Chan is there or not, they’re more loving, pressing kisses to the other’s lips any chance they can get.

Chan starts staying longer at the company.

he hopes they don’t notice his avoidance, because he would hate to make them hurt. He can’t do that, not to some of his favourite people in the world. He would rather walk through fire than do that. Anything to make sure that the people he loves aren’t hurting.

(He doesn’t spare a single thought to the fact that what he himself is doing — keeping his pain hidden — is exactly what he always tells the others not to do.)

—

Chan gets used to Changbin and Felix dating, eventually. Their constant kisses and cuddles are almost desensitizing him, in a way. That doesn’t mean it hurts less, knowing they’re happy with each other and Chan can never get that.

But even so, it’s okay. Because even though he can never get to love them as much as they love each other, they’re happy. And them being happy is all Chan can ask for, all he needs to be happy himself. It’s a bit of a contradiction, but he makes it work.

—

Changbin approaches him in the studio one day, tentative.

“Hyung,” he starts, and hugs the pillow on the couch to his chest, “I wanna make a song. With Felix, and…”

“Oh?” Chan spins his chair around to look at Changbin. “Do you want some beats?”

Changbin chuckles and nods. “Yeah, maybe something calm, happy. We wanted to try… well, it’s basically a love song, I guess you could say.”

_ Oh. _

Of course it is, it shouldn’t be that surprising to Chan. Not when Felix and Changbin are in love with each other. Of course they’d want to try writing a love song together.

(It doesn’t sting, not at all. And certainly not that this song will be Felix’s first release of a Skz-record.)

He does have something that would fit their voices beautifully for a love song, though. “I have something, but it needs a bit more work. I’ll send it to you later?”

Changbin smiles then, wide and blindingly. “Thank you hyung, so much.”

“Any time, Binnie.”

—

They don't let him listen to the song as they work on it.

He tries to beg a few times until he gives up, still content knowing that he'll get to listen to it when it's finished. So he waits. And he waits.

By the time he walks into his studio one day to find a usb drive on the desk, he's almost forgotten about the song. He had to push it to the back of his mind, or he surely would have gone crazy from the pangs of hurt he kept inflicting on himself. At least Changbin and Felix made it easier by now really talking about it.

But then there is the usb drive.

He stares at it, confused, but figuring that it must be someone he knows who left it there. When he lifts it up he notices a small note underneath it. On it is written,  _ We finished the song, if you want to give it a listen. _

He surprises himself with the speed he turns on his computer and plugs in the drive. There's only one single mp3 file on it, and he clicks on it before he can chicken out. He needs to listen to it,  _ wants _ to listen to it, but how much will it hurt hearing Felix and Changbin sing their love to each other.

The first few lines have his heart racing before he can remind himself that none of the words are directed to him. He can't afford to get carried away. And yet Changbin's singing, so soft like that, has his insides fluttering with love.

He was expecting singing more than rapping considering the melody, and they're both amazing singers, but he isn't prepared for Felix. His low voice stands in contrast to Changbin's softer lines, and Chan finds himself gasping.

He is listening to the lyrics, he really is but he doesn't realise how much he focused on their voices rather than the lyrics until Felix sings what sounds too much like what he'd told Chan one week ago. And then Changbin follows on those lunes, and it really  _ does  _ feel like they're singing to him.

_ I wanna listen to all your worries _ _  
_ _ Let me share your load _ _  
_ _ So you can break free from the heavy burden you’ve been carrying _ _  
_ _ You can lean on me until your cloud of worries disappear from your clear eyes _

Chan feels his chest contract, the feeling of love so overwhelming that he doesn't know what to do with it. He’s glad that they’re not there to see his reaction.

_ What’s giving you such a hard time _ _  
_ _ I’m serious, i’d rather hurt instead of you _ _  
_ _ Seeing you happy makes me smile _

And it’s as if all of Chan’s love is being reflected right back at him, because that line… That last line. It speaks to Chan, to all of his being. Tears gather in his eyes, but he blinks rapidly to get them to disappear.

He can't cry over a song that isn't even direct to him. It's just Felix and Changbin expressing their love to each other.

As if on queue when the song finishes and loops back to the start, his phone buzzes twice to indicate incoming messages. It's Felix and Changbin, in a newly created group chat for some reason, named "new beginnings ♡".

_ felix _   
hyung :D

_ changbin _   
we have a gift for you

oh?   
what is it?

_ changbin _ _  
_ did you see the drive?

yeah, i just finished listening to the song   
it's beautiful   
i can feel your love for each other

And then they don't reply for several minutes. Chan can't help but wonder what he said wrong, his right foot tapping anxiously against the floor. Then finally:

_ felix _   
did you see the name of the file?

Chan frowns, but opens the drive folder to take a closer look. He was in too much of a hurry to think to look at the name of the file. But there it is, and it makes him gasp, sucking in a breath until he's almost choking on it.

_we_just_really_love_you.mp3_

They can't mean it like that, surely? It has to have been a typo, or a joke. It can't be real. They love each other, they don't love Chan. Sure, they surely do love him, they way they love everyone else in the group as well. But not like this. Not in the way that will make them write a whole love song to him.

He can't really think much more on it before there's a knock on the door. It opens just a moment later and Felix and Changbin step inside. They're both smiling, Felix in the way that makes the corner of his eyes wrinkle, love practically radiating off of him.

It's quick to turn into a frown however and he hurries over to Chan. "Hyung," he says, sounding distressed. It's not until he swipes his fingers under Chan's eyes that he realises he's actually crying.

"What's wrong, please don't cry."

Changbin comes up behind the chair and settles his hands on Chan's shoulder. The warm weight of it is so comforting, and he feels himself relaxing and sinking back into the touch.

"I'm good," he sniffles, "I just got a little emotional over the song. It's beautiful." They don't have to know that he's crying over the thought of never being able to love them like he wants, like they love each other.

"So you saw the name of the file?" Changbin asks.

Chan hums as a yes, because he still doesn't know what to do about that. They can't mean they love him, surely.

But Felix has a soft smile slowly forming on his lips. As if he's happy.

Chan is just more confused over that.

Felix sinks down into a crouch, so their faces are on the same level. "Hyung," he starts, happy giggles in his voice, "We wanted to ask you to be ours."

Changbin squeezes Chan's shoulders as Felix takes Chan's hands into his own.

"We really love you, both of us do."

"But-" Chan protests, because he's not used to taking things for himself. "You love each other."

"We do," Changbin agrees, "but we also love you. Just as much."

"Oh," Chan feels his lips form into. The name of the file was actually real.

There's still a corner of his mind that says that this isn't happening, but he trusts his boys enough to know they would never joke about something like this. He can trust them, always.

"I love you too," he can finally confess. The tear stains on his cheeks flakes away when he smiles. "Both of you."

Felix glances up at Changbin for just a few seconds before he turns his gaze back to Chan. It's heavy, piercing to be under, but Chan knows it's only filled with love.

"Can I kiss you?"

Felix's smile grows wider. "Of course baby. Just promise to kiss Changbin after, or he might feel left out."

Changbin clicks his tongue at Felix, but he doesn't protest, and that's telling enough for Chan.

Felix's lips are soft and pliant against his own. He let's Chan set the pace, but he doesn't stay passive.

Eventually Chan pulls back with a gasp, breath pulled from him in wonder. He was kissing Felix. His Felix is right here, willing, even wanting, to kiss him.

“My turn,” Changbin says with a soft chuckle and takes Felix’s spot.

“Hi,” Chan says, amazement clear in his breathless voice. “I can’t believe this is real.”

“You should,” Changbin says and cups Chan’s jaw. “You deserve it.”

And then they kiss. His lips are just as soft as Felix, but he sets the pace, angling Chan’s head with the hand on his jaw. It’s nice, so nice, and over way too quickly.

Chan whines when Changbin pulls back, earning a chuckle in response.

“We can kiss more later, baby. I promise.”

“We have all the time in the world,” Felix adds.

God, Chan is so indescribably filled with love for his two boys.

**Author's Note:**

> twt [bangpeachchan](https://twitter.com/bangpeachchan) ([cc](https://curiouscat.qa/bangpeachchan))


End file.
